What do Mexicans do when they get scared?

Dude lives under The Rock

He had a difficult time finding a new job, and finally got a job at a gas station, but he got fired from that job as well. He would pump the gas until the customer's car was almost full, the pull the pump out and spray gas all over the hood of the car.

Force it

No need to get all bent out of shape!

...the tipping culture really has got out of hand.

>!A Gangster Wrap!<

I told the cashier, "My computer can sing this song." She looked puzzled. I said, "It's a Dell."

*An 82-year-old tells his doctor: 'I'm getting married again next week.'* *The doctor says, 'Well, congratulations—how old is the lucky bride?'* *'18, doctor.'* *The doctor is shocked: 'I must warn you—too much sexual activity at this age can be fatal!'* *The man replies, 'Well, if she dies, she dies!'"*

But at least they can keep the tips

A mother and her young daughter are cleaning up the breakfast table when the daughter asks, "Mom, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a bit and then says, “Well, love, when a mommy and a daddy fall in love, they get married. And at night in their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and they make a baby.” The daughter looks puzzled, so the mother explains. “That means the daddy puts his penis in mommy’s vagina. That’s how mommies get a baby, love.” The daughter seems to get it and nods. “Oh, I see. But the other night when I came into your room, you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” "A new pearl necklace, my dear".